It is a long story and so I begin... Monday, I stumbled against a groove in the ramped sidewalk and fell hard on my right side, breaking my glasses. (We will talk about $400 for glasses later.) Nothing else seemed to be hurt and so I went on about my day. Tuesday, about 4 in the afternoon, I begin to hurt in the right side of my neck and chest wall.
As it grew stronger, it reminded me of a time when I have taken a capsule only to have it begin to dissolve somewhere in my throat, rather than further down. Always, when that has happened, it has caused a burning in my throat, neck and upper chest until I drank an enormous amount of water or ate something to push it on down. And that IS what I was feeling. Worse, it widened out, moving into the sides of my neck and on into the bottom of my jaw. Then, it moved down into the front of my chest and suddenly, I remembered that I had felt that before.
In the spring of 2003 while in Childress, I had felt the same thing while preparing brunch for David one Sunday. As I sat down to eat with him, I realized that I could not eat. I was choking. I could not swallow at all. And I was beginning to have trouble breathing or speaking. I was scared and all I could do was sit and attempt to chew or swallow. I had then begun to shake and I was truly scared.
The pain that had been in my jaw and neck and the front of my chest grew worse, and I called Regina to ask whether she remembered the symptoms of a heart attack in a woman. We had talked about that earlier in the week; but she couldn't remember them either and so she took me to the ER.
All that came flooding back as I felt the very same way once again: I couldn't breath, I couldn't talk, I couldn't swallow. All I could do was shake and cry. And thus I asked Jim, my apartment manager to take me to the Emergency Room. I knew from that experience before that I probably was not having a heart attach, but I hurt badly and I had no idea of what was wrong with me. And alone with no family, I wanted a doctor and a hospital.
Sending out a request for prayer from a dear friend, I went to the ER and admitted myself, shaking all over and probably scaring someone in the waiting room. But the Triage nurse quickly took me to a trauma room and a doctor came in with his questions. After I explained the situation and had told him that I was definitely NOT a hysterical old woman, he gave me over to his nurses who checked once again everything which had been checked in the last three months. One thing I do know now: there is nothing wrong with me that I do not know all about.
Later, he came in with the very same solution that my doctor in Childress had: and IV solution of anti-anxiety medication. I had not been anxious about anything. That was not my problem; but the medication slowed everything down and reduced the pain to almost none at all. After he had watched me for two or more hours, he sent me home with a prescription for that medication should this ever happen again. I was calm and quite ready to be home.
It was as I got out of Romona’s car in front of my apartment that I felt that same pain in my jaw and chest on the right side. Not again. I was completely relaxed and ready do be at home. And then, as she and I talked about my fall of the preceding day, I realized just why my right chest wall was still in pain, still felt as if it were agitated: I had fallen on my right side the day before; the pain was from the chest wall's being bruised inside.
I don't know whether that pain set off some sort of anxiety that led to the entire problem or whether the pain mimicked the pain that might come with a panic attack; whatever the problem had been, I have now been checked and rechecked: my heart is in fine shape. My arteries have been checked. Right now, as of this very moment, I am well! I'm simply sore.
And this, it is two o'clock in the morning and I am at home, letting those of you who were concerned with me know that I am fine. I now do know what those pains that often accompany a woman's heart attack do feel like and although I had the pain, I did not have the heart attack.
